Learning to Surf the Waves of Grief

          On August 7th, 2019, I was at home. Just about to finish my homework and turn it in, when a knock came to my door. My mom stood there a little shook. I asked her what was wrong. She looked me in the eye and said the girls had been in a wreck on the way home from church. You see on Wednesday nights, they went to WOW, Worship on Wednesday. This day they had celebrated a baptism. They went to get ice cream and were coming home later than usual. I got in my car and headed to Littlefield, TX, waiting on mom to tell me what Emergency Room they would be going to. Mom called me before I got to town, she told me that they would be going to UMC in Lubbock, at that moment I knew it was bad. As I drove to Lubbock, about 45 minutes away, I passed the wreck site. I asked the workers who were there if they could tell me anything about the accident and how the girls were. He wouldn't give me any information. All he told me was to get to the hospital as quickly as I could.
       When I got there, mom told me that Ella had died immediately, I was shocked, I couldn't breathe, I asked about Aranza and Sarah. Aranza was in surgery and was in critical condition,  Sarah was en route. As we went back to the family room all I could do was pray. When I entered the room, Robert and Christy were already there. I had no idea what to say or do. As we prayed and sang praises to the Lord, Aranza's surgeons came in. I knew this was wrong, her procedure should have taken much longer. I knew what would come out of their mouths before they said it, but I still listened intently hoping, praying that I was wrong. Aranza didn't make it either. We burst into tears but soon turned our attention to Sarah. We continued praying and singing. As the night turned into day more and more people came and prayed with us. Sarah had surgery the next day and spent a few more days of healing before she got to go home.
        Since August we have all had to learn to live without these amazing people that I was so blessed to know.  The hardest part is knowing that they are in Heaven, and we are here longing to see them. I have been so very blessed to have been raised in a Christian home. I know where my future lies. Knowing this has helped so very much. Not to say that my faith wasn't tested, it has been. We have such an amazing community around us, even though our own grief we are there to help others.
         I am now in the Navy, far away from anyone who knows the story. These times have been some of the hardest. I am having to learn to deal with the loss on my own. I covet your prayers, any encouragement you can give me. I am doing alright, but the drowning waves come crashing more often, and without my community of life jackets and floaties around I am having to learn to swim, to stay afloat. I am working back to surfing, you see before I was surfing, before boot camp. I had my place of comfort. When I stepped out of my comfort zone, I forgot how to surf, or maybe the waves became bigger, whichever it was, I had to begin again.
          I should be back home around November, thankfully I joined the Reserves! I get to go back to my amazing community, hopefully having learned to surf my waves. I love each and every one of you. May the Lord bless you. Until next time.
Cole W Rodgers